We have all heard the saying “Fake it till you make it”.
This really is a key manifestation tool. Start becoming who you want to be and you will end up becoming that person.
Or just pretend you have this until you feel confident enough to say it.
So what happens if years and many achievements later you still feel like you are faking it and never making it?
Introducing ….. Imposter Syndrome.
So what does it feel like to struggle with this constant belief that you are an imposter?
The word that comes to mind is “inadequacy” a constant underlying feeling of inadequacy.
The way this can present itself for example is: Being offered an opportunity to showcase your work. Maybe to speak or present something you have been working on. You feel excited and even think “yes this is my time to shine”
And.. in come the thoughts, “what if I mess this up”, “I don’t really know what I am talking about and people will see that”, “id rather wait and do this when I know more or I am more qualified, have enough experience..” and so on and so on.
That’s only if you feel excited in the first place.
Many feel instant dread as the imposter kicks in right away.
Apparently, this affects around 70% of us at least once in our careers. Higher achievers experience this even more.
There are 5 sub groups of imposters according to the founder of the term “Imposter Syndrome”, Valerie Young.
1. Perfectionist
2. Expert
3. Soloist
4. Natural Genius
5. Superhuman
I was “the expert’ meaning I struggle to feel qualified enough, experienced enough and always need to do more and be more. I could not identify as an expert even if I was. I felt I had to be an expert before I could show my work. I covered it well as I was able to pretend or “fake it” but no one sees what you feel inside. How much doubt you have, even if on the outside you seem to have it all together..
You can read in more detail about the 5 sub groups and Valerie Youngs work online. It may help you to understand why you do what you do?
In most cases, you will get through this once you realise you are capable and able. That it was just short lived ie you started a new job, took up study, became a first time parent or anything where you are starting something new and/or learning something unfamiliar.
“Practice is key” a very true saying when it comes to developing confidence about something.
But for some of us… we try to do all of that and yet, we still feel inadequate and we are still ‘faking it” and not feeling like we are ‘making it”..?
This is where something bigger is driving the feeling.
There may be a belief you have formed and it is not allowing you to feel adequate and confident even after all the work you put in.
If you can relate, try this exercise:
Just for a short moment, close down your eyes and take in a deep breath. Hold that breath for a moment.. then breathing out slowly and as you do, you are feeling your muscles relax more and more as you breath out.
Do this 2 more times.
Now connecting in with your body. Can you find where in your body you are feeling this inadequacy, lack of confidence or not feeling good enough?
Focusing on this part, what does it look like? Do you see any colours? What are you feeling as you focus on this part?
As you connect with this part, is there a memory coming up? If not ask this part, “where did you come from, when did you appear?”
There may be an experience, usually stemming far back in your childhood or something more recent could appear. It will be a scene where someone or a situation left you feeling that you were not enough. You had to be perfect, you had to know how to do it all or you had to do it alone and become independent or perhaps you were always told you were the smart one and now you’re not sure what to do when you are not?
Remember this is just a memory and you have already lived it. We are just exploring and trying to connect the dots.
The experience you have will be unique to you just as the belief you formed will be.
Can you see what belief you have formed? Perhaps you are starting to see a series of scenes that left you feeling inadequate and not good enough? Further enforcing this feeling?
If are not seeing anything, just follow the feeling. A memory may pop up or you may hear something someone once said to you.
Can you see or hear the belief you have formed?
Perhaps you believe you always have to prove yourself to others? Who are those others? Does their opinion really matter?
Or you may feel that you are responsible for others happiness? A task that will never be possible. Can you really control or influence everyones happiness all the time? Are you even responsible for their happiness?
You see our minds want to keep us safe. It is our minds highest purpose. So what could this endless feeling of being an imposter, be keeping you safe from?
Once you have that belief and can see what has happened that affected the way you see yourself, what can you do to change that?
Flip the belief.
Ie “I need to be perfect for everyone otherwise I wont be liked”
Flip it to: “I choose to be authentically me and always come from a place of kindness whether people like that or not”.
Accessing the subconscious mind is a fantastic tool. In hypnosis, not only do we aim to find the root cause of why you are feeling this way. We are able to shift this feeling with something more supportive. Support you to start realising you are perfect exactly as you are and where you are in your life. Allowing you to finally recognise your amazing qualities and strengths.
We can also work on an energetic level. Just as we do with the mind, we can access even higher states of consciousness and look at ancestral or past life influences. Its possible that you have formulated your belief based on what your parents believe which is based on what their parents believed and so on it goes..
Our habits and beliefs can be ancestral. Or a learned behaviour. Especially if you see these same imposter qualities in your parents, siblings or grandparents.
When you dig deep you can begin to see how your mum or dad are the way they are, because their mum and dad were. So were your great grandparents and down the line it goes.
We will still have moments that we feel like an imposter. Even after healing.
We want this feeling to no longer be a constant in your life. To so may just require digging a little deeper and then taking the appropriate actions to work through this. Hypnosis is a great tool for this.
Just know, you are not broken. None of us are. We always have the ability to change and shift our perspectives, our beliefs and our lives at any time.
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